So you want to be successful in the exciting new industry of skunk breeding? Here are five tips for achieving your skunk breeding dreams.
- Start small. Take care of a litter of four to five skunks first. This is enough to give you experience with different dispositions and determine if you can handle the stress of skunk care.
- Move to where the action is. Pittsburgh once was the home to a booming steel manufacturing industry, now those abandoned slag pits abound with skunk farms.
- Stay positive. Your skunks will die. Whether it is from suicide or predators like a hipster restaurant chef seeking new local cured meat sources, expect only one-quarter of your litter to live beyond five months.
- Be loving. Unlike other smelly mammals, skunks require vast amounts of physical affection. I suggest kissing your skunk (in the tender spot under the chin) at least ten times a day.
- Focus. It is easy to get distracted by the talents that these magical creatures possess. If they start dancing you might cross the boundary between skunk farmer and skunk dancer. Don’t.